And the weather of course continues to disappoint with heavy showers of diet coke. A much anticipated front of foolishness makes its way from the west, hopefully reaching us by next century. We will keep you posted as this could interfere with next week’s global cooling protest hosted by Miley Cyrus.
The world’s economic leaders Australia, Iceland and Gary Coleman will hold a peace summit this weekend in order to eliminate Frustration in the western hemisphere. Security will once again be tighter than ever in an attempt to prevent Johnny Depp from intruding.
In sports, hockey has died and Tiger Woods has decided to play basketball in order to uphold the black stereotype.
Trees have decided to break up and will no longer release their much anticipated album “Summer Breeze”. On another note squirrels have decided to dig up Jerry Garcia in an attempt to inspire their latest reality TV show “Going Nuts”. Tom Hanks is not amused.
Tonight, Barbara Walters interviews a can of Mountain Dew on why education is important in America’s war on the outsourcing of the workforce to baby seals and large farm animals. Heidi Klum apologizes when she realizes this has nothing to do with her kids.
The Jonas Brothers have recently cancelled their summer tour with Isaac Hayes due to the fact that he has been dead for over a year. In his absence a tube of chap stick will perform.
This summer Apple plans to release its much anticipated iGun, iCar, and iHouse. Blackberry has no response.
Congress has refused to lift the ban on marriage, while a Montana state representative tries to convince everyone that he is in fact from an actual American state. The man was executed later that day.
The world has voted on acknowledging the Netherlands as a place to do drugs, but no longer recognizes it as a country. Sven is still upset from the 2010 Olympics.
